“Are we there yet? Are we there yet?” crowed Tim Sherwood – for days on end – in to the ear of chairman Daniel Levy, swapping the phrase “are we there yet” for “can I have the job”. Like any overworked parent, Daniel finally acquiesced, giving Tim the keys to the kingdom, keys he previously […]
More hate being directed Spurs way in recent days with the keyboard warriors taking to their weapon of choice to berate Spurs (in general) and Gareth Bale (in particular). Bale’s crimes are to (a) be a bit of a diver (true) (b) look like a chimp (yeah, classy commentary there, ironically, from neanderthals) (c) complain […]
Martin O’Neill has said he will not take a Liverpool bid for his services lying down. The Irishman was named as 6/4 favourite for the manager’s role at Anfield after Rafa Benitez left by mutual consent on Thursday. But after rebuffing repeated attempts by Liverpool to sign his captain Gareth Barry in 2008 and 2009, […]
Well he has form.
Hey ‘Arry, rather than chuck away £25m on Defoe and Palacios, why not bid for these guys? Even this one would be an improvement. Don’t worry if you can’t afford to buy the entire first team squad – we can always bargain with any old tat we have lying around.
TEVEZTUBBY IS A BIT OF A DIPSY No one likes footballers, that’s for sure. Bling, roastings, tinted windows – the list of reasons to loathe our heroes goes on and on. But Carlos TevezTubby has thrown this perception on its head. The man, who has been linked away from West Ham since the day he […]
TO HULL AND BACK As the flood waters rose and then disappeared down the drains again, they left behind a little surprise package in Hull – none other than former Middlesbrough legend, Juninho. “Juninho was very impressed … and it’s obvious that Hull are gearing up to get into the Premier League,” bleated his agent […]
TAKING THE FIRST “E” OUT OF ALIADIERE There’s an air of desperation in the, um, air, as middling players leave one middling club for another, revealing a middling gap at the initial middling club. One such example is the Human Pie-shaped gap left by Mark Fooduka at Middlingbrough. But Gareth Southgate is nothing if not […]
THE BOTTLE OF BECKS Comedian Rob Newman ridiculed former England manager Graham Taylor in the early ninties by assuming his comical accent and uttering “we mustn’t underestimate the Estonians”. In response to his own character assassination the funnyman countered that we must underestimate the Estonians: send out slx players, not even wearing the proper kit […]
NEW CHARACTERS SET FOR GRIMY, NORTHERN SOAP OPERA The long-running soap opera Newcastle United FC may have been ignored once again at the recent British Soap Awards but major storyline twists could see it finally in the shake-up next season. Gruff northener Big Sam has taken on day-to-day management of the football club while flash […]