It’s the wheeler-dealer’s first transfer window at Tottenham and although Florin Raducioiu, Marco Boogers, Dani and Javier Margas are unlikely to arrive, there are some very familiar faces lined up.  I’m going to take a look at the rumoured ins and outs and give my own take on them.  Why?  Cos this is my column and I can say whatever I like such as “arse” or “cockhead”.

Likely departures

Hossam Ghaly, Adel Taarabt, Ricardo Rocha, Kevin-Prince Boateng, Giovani Dos Santos, Gilberto

Redknapp has recently being bigging-up Adel Taarabt, a phenomenally skilful French player whose cameo substitute appearance turned a 3-2 defeat at West Ham in to a 4-3 victory a couple of seasons ago.  Since then he’s rarely featured and one can only assume that successive managers don’t think he’s able for the Premier League.  I think a loan move to the Championship would toughen him up.

Kevin-Prince Boateng made a short appearance at the end of the 4-2 League Cup win over Liverpool, doing a few ridiculous tricks in the four minutes he had to highlight an arrogance level so high, it would fail a drug test.  Utterly useless since he joined and will not be missed.

Richardo Rocha had Portuguese Ramon Vega written all over him when he arrived and, indeed, the £3m defender looked unsure and lacking quality when he made the starting XI. 

Hossam Ghaly returned to the bench for the 3-1 win over Wigan but was baited by the fans who had not forgotten how the midfielder threw his shirt to the ground after being substituted versus Blackburn in May 2007.  I personally think the continued booing is moronic but then again I probably don’t consider a football club to be as important and central to my life as some of these tribal members do.  Ghaly isn’t great so his transfer out will be no loss.

Giovani Dos Santos looked great in pre-season and exciting in a few appearances early in the season.  However, his slight build – at a club with the slightly-built Lennon and Modric already in the first team – means his chances will be limited.  Shame, but if he’s not going to play he should move on.  I think he’ll be a talent in the future.

There will be little chance for Gilberto who marks every appearance with an utterly dire performance, usually resulting in giving a goal away and then being the subject of a half-time substitution.  After the 2-2 draw with Spartak Moscow last month, ‘Arry said: “He was quite happy to come off.  There’s not really a way back for him here. The boy doesn’t want to play here. He’s a nice guy but just doesn’t feel confident playing here.”

Hopefully not departing

Gareth Bale

Bale, who has been awful this year, has battled injury since his summer 2007 transfer from Southampton.  But the club needs to keep faith in the highly-rated full-back who I thought was going to end up at Old Trafford this season following his explosive start to the 2007 campaign.

Wishful thinking

Jermaine Jenas, David Bentley

Yes, I’m so controversial.  I’ve not liked Jenas since his £7m transfer from Newcastle in 2005.  Seriously, I nearly choked when I saw how much we were willing to pay for a player who looked pretty average in the North East for the previous couple of years.  True, he started his career brightly there, but was struggling ever since describing his life on Tyneside as like “living in a goldfish bowl”.  At Tottenham he seems particularly ordinary in just about every respect. He has no presence, can’t tackle, loses the ball too frequently and when he isn’t scoring there is not much else to his game.

I didn’t support the purchase of David Bentely in a deal that saw half of the £15m paid go to arch-rivals Arsenal.  Whenever I saw him for Blackburn he looked, at best, ok.  He usually had the odd good half in which he’d score a nice 20 yard goal, do a few step-overs and send a couple of decent crosses in.  But since he joined Tottenham he’s not even doing that, looking out-of-his-depth (even though it’s the same division) and exuding a false sense of confidence that often sees him lose possession.  He spends more time fixing his hair than fixing to score.  And his decision making is appalling, attempting daft glory shots rather than laying the ball off way too often.  We’ve given Jenas 2 1/2 years and he hasn’t got any better – let’s not waste our time on Bentely.

Transfer Targets

Stewart Downing

We could send Bentley to Middlesbrough in exchange for our long-term target, left-winger Stewart Downing.  Now this lad is a pretty mediocre player but he scored nine times last season and at 5′ 11″ has a bit of height to him.  He is a good crosser of the ball and he can beat players.  He’s Matthew Etherington, basically.  Still probably better than Bentely though.

Luvfooty says: Yes – swap for Bentley.

Jermain Defoe

Look, he seemed fab when he first joined in January 2004.  And despite scoring 36 goals in 74 starts (plus 50 sub appearances) in the following 3 1/2 seasons I wasn’t upset to see him go.  He just does not inspire great confidence.  Maybe I’m jaded from seeing Jermain blast the ball from 30 yards either in to the stands or straight against a defender two feet away from him all too often.  Perhaps it’s his propensity to attempt to beat players by putting his head down and charging straight in to defenders, putting an end to many attacks the same way.  I don’t know – I just don’t think he’s the answer.  Especially not for anything more than what we paid for him.

Luvfooty says: No, some things are best left in the past.

Glen Johnson

Fair enough, I thought Glen Johnson was pants when Portsmouth bought him from Chelsea but I was proved wrong.  He looks very solid, certainly a lot better than Alan Hutton and further along than Chris Gunter.  For £8m or so I think he’d be a good addition.

Luvfooty says: Yes, would be worth a bid under £10m.

Peter Crouch

I put forward the idea of taking Crouch from Liverpool in the summer and I think he would be a way better option than Jermain Defoe at this point.  Problem is of course that he would cost far too much and I think we missed the boat on it.  But Spurs need a target man – especially with Downing and Lennon needing someone’s nut to aim at.

Luvfooty says: Yes, but we’d probably have to pay about £15m for him.  But, hey, we paid that for Benty.  And Bentley.

Craig Bellamy

Hmm, this is where things kind of get difficult.  I think Bellamy is a good player but a loathsome individual.  I would find it hard to justify paying premium prices for players who were available for a lot less not so long ago.  With a price likely to be in excess of £10m I think we should let Man City have a player who has a poor injury record and a bad attitude.

Luvfooty says: No, he’s an arsehole.

Jimmy Bullard

I saw Jimmy being described as “flavour of the month” on a website recently but, if he is, then it’s a long month.  He’s been the subject of much praise for about three seasons now between his time at Wigan and Fulham.  Off the pitch – judging by his appearances on Soccer AM – he’s a stand-up guy with great character.  On the pitch he’s an intelligent workhorse with a great shot on him.  He’s not top-class but would bring the quality that I think Jenas lacks.

Luvfooty says: Yes, £5m or so, he’d be a good sort in the midfield.

Jermaine Pennant

Used to play for Arsenal.  Went to jail.  Useless.

Luvfooty says: You taking the piss?