Not that Keane

I’ve never been a big fan of Rafa Benitez.  He’s your typical big-four manager: always moaning, blames referees for bad results and a bit of a spoofer.  The patchiness of his transfer record is up there with the best of them but while Wenger and Ferguson can point to huge success in spite of their transfer mis-steps, Rafa seems to be living off the memory of the 2005 European Cup and his ability to finish in the top four.

Hot on the heels of his peculiar chase for Aston Villa’s solid mid-table midfielder Gareth Barry (Villa want £18m) it has been revealed that Robbie Keane is the latest apple of his eye.

The Spurs striker has delivered 107 goals in 202 starts at White Hart Lane – an impressive stat.  But beyond the goals is a feeling that Robbie is never far away from a collapse in form.  His performances in the last six years for Ireland have been dire and until Dimitar Berbatov arrived at Spurs, Keane was on the outs. If Berbatov moves on this summer then I’m not sure we’ll get the best from him.

Tottenham want £20m for Keane – a hugely inflated figure.  Liverpool are thinking more about Peter Crouch plus a few million. Not a great deal.  Spurs sold Crouch for £60k in 2000.

As a Tottenham fan I’d be happy for Keane to stay but he’s no Fernando Torres, Wayne Rooney or Berbatov.  If we can get upwards of £15m then I’d take it – once a replacement (who isn’t Darren Bent) is sourced.

I’m going to be a Deco rater

I like Deco in a sideshow kind of way.  He actually did play quite well in a few of the less-demanding group games for Portugal.  But his hunger for partying is renowned and – much like his former Barcelona teammate Ronaldinho – he doesn’t look particularly streamlined right now.

Chelsea have brought him in for £8m which is probably a pre-cursor to Frank Lampard moving to Inter Milan.  If this happens then potentially they have replaced a player who scored 71 league goals in 7 seasons with one who scored 11 in 108 starts at Barcelona.  We will potentially have 31 year old Deco teaming up in midfield with 32 year old Michael Ballack next season.

Outside of “global profile” ramificiations it makes no sense.

+++ Tight shorts +++

This is my comedy name for the section that takes a more irreverent look at some of the tattle going on around the world of football.

Derby County, looking to become the latest club to achieve consecutive relegations, are targeting Wigan’s walking Ground Zero, Titus Bramble.

One of the worst players to grace White Hart Lane in my lifetime, Hamburg’s Timothee Atouba, is a target for Celtic.

In a bid to be voted Manchester City’s Fan’s Player of the Year for the 313th consecutive year, Richard Dunne may yet sign a new deal at Eastlands.

Roy Keane has found Roy O’Donovan in a huge box marked “Irish players that I should not have signed” and is happy to let Leeds United and Dundee United fight it out for him.